Somewhere
by Eh Bien
Summary: When Edward met Bella in Volterra, he assumed they were both dead together. Suppose he was actually right.


**This can be taken as a dream, hallucination, vision, message from beyond, or whatever you prefer. When Bella thwarts Edward's suicide attempt in Volterra, he assumes they are both dead and in Heaven together. I let Edward follow that line of thinking for a while, taking a different direction from the straightforward one in New Moon. The first part is the meeting with Bella at Volterra from Edward's POV, and the story diverges from there. Other than this fantasy digression, pure canon.**

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><p>I walked slowly toward the archway, removing my shirt as I went. Outside was an endless sea of people in the blazing sunlight - the two essential ingredients to my plan - but I barely saw them. My mind was focused on the images of Bella I was allowing it to conjure up. For once, for these last few moments, I permitted myself to dream of her freely. In my thoughts, Bella was smiling up at me; she was biting her lip and blushing with shyness; she was embracing me in that fierce, impulsive way of hers; she was sleeping sweetly with her head on my shoulder; she was even - since this was <em>my<em> fantasy, and I could take it where I liked - standing by my side in a white gown as we recited our marriage vows; letting me carry her over the threshold of our home. I felt my lips turning up in a smile. Being able to think of her this way would ease me through whatever pain the Volturi's execution might cause.

It would all be over soon. I immersed myself in thoughts of Bella as the tower clock began to strike, and I stepped out onto the paving stones.

My thoughts were so distant, it took me almost a second to register that something, something soft and harmless, had just been blown or tossed up against me. It was irrelevant. Even the sound of breathing and a heartbeat exactly like Bella's did not capture my attention at first. I assumed my fantasies were getting away from me, becoming more vivid and unpredictable. But soon, the perfect clarity of the vision drew my notice. It was not like a daydream.

Then I began to take in the scent. That was unexpected. I started to focus on the soft presence in front of me. It was, I recognized, struggling with me, actively pushing at me - not enough to actually affect me, but with a significant amount of force from a human perspective. This was strange. I opened my eyes, curious in spite of myself.

My fantasies suddenly fell away, nothing but wisps of smoke beside the undeniable reality of...Bella. I could see her, hear her, feel her. It was the scent, though, that convinced me. I would never have deliberately imagined that, and now my throat was burning with it. She was actually here, throwing herself into my arms. For a few ecstatic moments, I took in that fact without trying to analyze the strange phenomenon. Then my mind began to deal with the paradox. Bella was dead. There was no way she could be here with me..._from whose bourn no traveller returns_ floated through my mind. Unless...unless _I_ had gone to _her_! The Volturi, bless their evil, conniving hearts, had done what I'd asked, and inadvertently sent me straight to where Bella waited for me.

The joy of the realization was almost painful.

"Amazing! Carlisle was right!" That thought made me smile. I should have known Carlisle's wisdom had not failed him in such an important matter. I momentarily wished I could go back and tell him, but that regret was brief. He would find out eventually.

Bella, this vision of Bella I could still barely believe was real, was speaking, but I could not focus enough to take in her words. I reached out and touched her face. That touch instantly healed all the suffering I'd gone through in the past endless weeks, cauterized the pain of learning she was gone, and for the first time in what seemed like ages, I felt _well_.

"I can't believe how quick it was," I said, mostly to myself, but also explaining to Bella. "They're very good." I kissed her forehead. I wanted to tell her how I felt, that I had gone from the depths of misery to perfect bliss in an instant. "Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty." I knew she'd understand. We had studied and argued over Romeo and Juliet, and she would know that I now felt as Romeo would, had he woken from his despairing death to find himself reunited with his beloved.

I inhaled. "You smell just exactly the same as always," I told her. "So maybe this _is_ hell." Not that there was any way Bella could find herself in hell, but maybe she could be sent to me there, her burning scent an added torment, or her presence a consolation. I knew Carlisle would have assumed the latter. "I don't care. I'll take it." If this was the kind of hell I was given, I would be more than grateful.

She spoke, and this time I tried to absorb some of what she was saying. I attempted to focus. "O speak again, bright angel."

She giggled. "Stop quoting Shakespeare already!" That both exalted me and gave me clarity. This was no fantasy Bella, but truly the real thing - mockery, bad 21st century dialect and all.

We stood embraced while the clock in the tower overhead ground audibly along for several minutes. I could have stood holding her forever, but she finally unwrapped her arms from around my neck and took my hand in hers. "Come on."

I followed her readily, although she was leading me directly into the bright sunlight beating down on the piazza. I felt as if nothing could hurt me now. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

We walked through the brick lined streets, weaving effortlessly through the festive crowd. I could see the sun gleaming off my skin, sparkling and forming bright prisms. Bella smiled at the sight. I realized nobody else was taking any notice. I started to say as much to Bella.

"I know," she said before I could speak. "It's okay." Were we ghosts, then? Bella would like that idea; we would walk together forever, like Cathy and Heathcliffe. We kept walking until the crowds began to thin, Bella following the narrow, labyrinthine streets as if she'd lived there her entire life. We walked slowly, always in contact, looking into each other's eyes every few steps. With every touch of her hand, every glimpse of her face, the feeling of extraordinary well being continued to rush over me like a waterfall. I didn't care where she was leading me, as long as we remained together.

The streets became narrower, less well kept; people appeared less often, and still we walked, still talking softly to each other, arms around each other. We passed out of the actual town, into the more distantly spaced houses on the outskirts of Volterra, and on into the countryside. Slightly rolling green land dotted with cottages and farmhouses appeared before us. We passed through the occasional tiny village with its church, school, and market, always ignored by the people we encountered. I was beginning to conclude this was our existence from now on: together, but unseen and alone in the world. I was fine with that.

Then we came to a dusty crossroad with a little chapel made from honey coloured stone standing nearby. As we rounded the chapel wall, I was suddenly faced with a human shape, standing directly in front of us. I stiffened immediately, not because the individual was particularly threatening, but because I could not tell what it was. There was no discernible smell, either of human or of vampire. I was not even sure whether it was a man or a woman.

This was unprecedented in my life as a vampire. Smell is our strongest and most accurate sense. There is no such thing as a living being with no smell at all - yet this was exactly what I faced now. Did this mean it was an illusion, or something entirely new to me? I stiffened, and instinctively moved Bella behind me.

The being laughed. "You don't have to worry. Bella's in no danger from me, and neither are you."

His voice was beautiful - and for some reason I began to think of the being as _he_, although the voice was not overtly masculine. The strange thing was that I found myself believing what he said, although I had no particular reason to. I relaxed my defensive posture and let Bella move back to my side. She looked calmly at the unknown person, the only one who had been able to see us since we'd left Volterra, and then turned to me and smiled.

She didn't seem surprised in the least. "Do you know him?" I asked her. He seemed vaguely, faintly familiar to me, but I couldn't quite place how.

"I've never met him before today."

Her answer seemed needlessly evasive, but she looked directly into my eyes as she spoke. Bella was never a good liar. I let it pass, and turned back to our new acquaintance.

He gestured to us. "Come on!"

I hesitated. "Where?"

"I thought I'd show you around. It seems as if you could use some guidance here."

I looked at Bella, who nodded, and we started toward him, still holding hands. He fell into step with us, walking gracefully and effortlessly. None of us spoke for some time.

"Are you...?" The being looked at me encouragingly. "Are you an angel?" I felt silly asking, but it seemed the most likely explanation.

He laughed, and his laugh was musical and pleasing. "No."

That was it; just no. "What's going to happen now?" I asked.

"What would you like to happen?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think it was up to me." I looked at Bella. She seemed perfectly content, not prepared to demand any explanations.

"Some of it is. You still have to make decisions," our guide explained. "Preferably the right ones."

"About what?"I asked, a little perplexed. This wasn't like any afterlife I had been taught to expect.

"You and your Bella, for one thing."

I looked at Bella, a little worried. She looked back at me, her beautiful brown eyes showing love, but no fear. "What would I have to decide?"

"Whether you want to be with her forever."

"Of course I want to be with her forever! That's...that would be..." Words failed me.

"You have some work to do first."

"Anything." I braced myself. I had no idea what might be asked of me under these circumstances, but if it meant being with Bella forever, I was prepared to accept.

"You would have to agree to be with her forever," he told me, repeating, "You have a lot of work to do."

That made no sense. I had already agreed to stay with Bella. I pulled her closer, wary. "Could you be more specific?"

"You have to take her into your family. You have to live with her and lie with her. First you would have to marry her." I was startled. I had no idea what to make of this conversation; but our guide seemed very sure of himself. "It is not as easy as it sounds. You may have to make some changes in the way you think. Do you understand? Are you ready to do that?"

"To marry her?" He nodded. I looked at Bella, who was merely watching me expectantly, a small, lovely smile on her face. I wanted to simply say yes, but ingrained doubts and inhibitions stopped me. "I'm sorry, but how is that possible? I thought there was no marriage in Heaven."

"Who said this was Heaven?" He seemed amused.

"Oh. So this is Hell after all?" It seemed unlikely, unless Hell had been vastly sensationalized for millenia. The Italian countryside, although somewhat lacking in amenities and nightlife, was hardly a terrifying hellscape. If I was allowed to stay with Bella, it was Paradise.

"No, not Hell. There's a third possibility." He gave me an odd little smile.

"Oh!" Yes, of course. I'd read my Dante. "Purgatory?" I'd never believed in such a place, but it made sense. Not a horrible place, but one in which difficult things, like the burning from Bella's exquisite scent, still existed. A place where I was given the work of expunging my many sins. This would irritate Carlisle, I thought. Not that Carlisle clung to ancient religious feuds, but he'd be a little shocked to find the Catholics were right about this all along.

Our guide laughed uproariously. "No, no! Don't you realize? This is where you have to work things out, where you have to learn to let go of some of your foolishness." I bridled a bit at that, but Bella grinned and rested her head affectionately on my shoulder, and I calmed down. "This is the place where you will find a way to manufacture your own happiness, and hers."

"Yes," I said, trying to remain calm. He was so irritating! "But what, exactly, is this place?"

"You really don't know?" He raised an eyebrow. "This is earth!"

"We're not dead, not yet! The Volturi..." I was standing in the doorway under the clock tower. Before Bella had finished her sentence, I grasped what was happening, and moreover, what was going to happen if I did not act quickly. I grabbed her and whirled, as quick as thought, carrying her into the building and placing myself defensively in front of her. Something was at the very edges of my mind, some memory, but it was soon replaced by other concerns, as members of the Volturi guard began to appear; as we were taken into the central chamber and made to argue for our lives.

What followed was an endless, unrelieved marathon of fear and suspense, never knowing when the Volturi might make a summary decision and destroy all of us at one stroke. The night ended, almost anticlimactically, with our being dismissed without further harm. We were free and Bella was still with me. I could relax and focus on that one astonishing, supremely joyful fact.

It was only as we were in our seats in the plane, flying back to Seattle, safe and together, that the vague memory came back to me. I couldn't capture any of it clearly, which was an unfamiliar experience for me: my memory was usually flawless. All I could grasp was a sense that all was well, that good things were coming, that there was reason to be hopeful. That, and the inexplicable conviction that before these good things would happen, I had a lot of work to do.


End file.
